Know Your “Big Rocks” To Achieve Your Decluttering Goals

There are many versions of this story (just google “Big Rocks and Jar”), made famous especially, perhaps, by Stephen Covey.

I’m going to share the story, and then show you why this matters so much for our decluttering journeys – because this blog is all about decluttering – and really decluttering is about making your home support the life you truly want.

The Story of the Big Rocks and the Jar

Once upon a time, there was a philosophy professor who stood before his class with an empty jar.

Into the jar, he placed a number of medium rocks until they reached the brim. Then he held up the jar and asked the class, “Is this jar full?”

“Of course it is!” responded the students.

The professor smiled. “Is it really? Let’s see.”

He poured into the jar a bunch of pebbles, shaking it gently so that the pebbles settled around the larger rocks. “Now is the jar full?” he asked his students.

These being clever students, they caught on to the game and answered, “No!”

“Correct!” the professor beamed at them, as he slowly poured sand into the jar. The sand slipped around the pebbles and rocks, filling in all the nooks and crannies.

The professor then set the jar down on the table, and picked up a second empty jar.

“Watch what happens when I try to fill the jar in reverse,” he told his students. He poured an equal amount of sand into the second jar. Then added an equal amount of pebbles. But when he tried to add the same number of rocks — only a few fit.

“This is a metaphor for prioritizing our lives,” the professor explained.

“The Big Rocks are our most important priorities. Only we can define those for ourselves. For many people, their families, their health, perhaps their closest friends fall into this category.”

“The Pebbles represent other important things – perhaps work, friends, serious hobbies. These matter and are high priority – just not quite the core priorities that the Big Rocks are.”

“The Sand is the ‘extra’ stuff. Social media, watching TV, worrying about things you can’t change….”

It might be hard to differentiate these categories, and honestly, the biggest value here is in the exercise of thinking about your priorities, not in getting it perfectly right. Priorities will change over time, from season to season.

One thing that helps some people identify their big rocks is the good ol’ death bed visualization. If you were lying on your deathbed, what would you look back and think, I wish I’d devoted more time to this? (Or better, I am so glad I spent so much time on this!)

Awesome story – but what does it have to do with decluttering?

If you’ve read my blog at all, you know that I believe mindset is the single biggest part of the (admittedly complicated) decluttering puzzle.

Yes, decluttering in and of itself is not complicated. Pick up an item, decide if it should stay or go, put it away if it’s staying, get it out the door if it’s going. Repeat.

But what happens on days when you’re tired? When you’re overwhelmed? When you were making progress, but something happened, and now you feel like you’re in it even deeper than ever? When you’re losing hope?

On those days, that’s when we need to focus in on our “Why.”

As the saying goes:

“If your don’t know where you’re going
Any road will get you there.”

Popular quote loosely based on Lewis Carroll’s quote from Alice In Wonderland

Your Why is your roadmap.

Why do you really, truly want to declutter?!

Knowing your Big Rocks helps you figure out Why decluttering is important to you.

One of my Big Rocks is life is meaningful time with my kids.

There were times in the past when we wanted to, say, play Monopoly, but clearing off a space to play took so long we either didn’t have any time left, or the moment had just…passed.

So part of my Why statement is: “I value spontaneity and fun with my kids, and having surfaces that are quick and easy to clear is critical for us to suddenly decide to play a board game, or have friends come over for a sleepover, or spread out all the materials for an art project.”

Now when I notice a surface is getting particularly messy, I remember that my Big Rock – one of my core values – is being compromised, and that motivates me to act.

Stuff is just stuff. No matter how much stuff there is, we won’t be motivated to act until there’s something we want that we know our actions can get us.

Figure out WHY you want to act.

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As always –

Wishing you every success on your decluttering journey!

~ Danie